Thursday, March 30, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Whats with all the Questions?
A friend of mine once said to me "change is easy. we are changing all the time. See, I just changed from who I was a second ago. I just changed again." (ok, so I rephrased a little, this is the same girl who compared her ex to an amputated right arm and her current boyfriend to her left arm)...but the point is can we change just becuase we want too? Can you 'shut down' a part of you if it is getting in your way? If you say, "I don't like this about myself, I am going to change." Can you just do it like that?
I definitely think that there are poignent moments in my life when I have changed but I can't think of how it happened.
The human mind is unbelivable. How you can think about something so clearly but still have no control over it?
And what is with all the questions?
More ponderings on thinkings (haha) if you are interested:
I think it is too late to go back though.
What are the consequences? As I read letters written by my dad to my mom and I learn so much, I think about how my children will learn about me. I am afraid that they will not ever know what my life is like now because even I will forget and I will have nothing to help me remember. All of the emails and phone messages will be erased. Sure, I will have pictures, but the details will be forgotten.
A friend and I once tried to start writing letters to each other, but email is so much easier. We always ended up talking and telling each other everything that was in the letter before it got there.
My father wanted to be a writer (who knew? he was an engineer.)
Writing a book is the one way I see out of this dilemma. I have great idea for a book, based on my fathers letters. It will jump back and forth between my life now and my parents life when they were my age (using the letters to help tell the story, filling in the rest with info from friends and imagination.) What do you think? (Katie G, want to help?)
Sunday, March 26, 2006
I was actually tricked into this. I had to login to post a comment on my friend's wedding blog and to "login" you have to create a blog address. If you want to be optimistic you could say it was fate.
Not anticipating having to create my blog title this morning, I went through a lot of odd options. A few included; "Lets go to the park." which is what my father's Ruppert Bear toys says when you pull the string, "High on a Hill," a song title I like, and "Ukuthula", which is 'peace' in Zulu. I went with "When Winter is Here" instead. It is a line from a letter my father wrote my mother before they were married. Here is the rest of it;
I felt good this morning when I awoke.
It was cold, very cold.
That means winter is coming and it can't come too fast for me.
When winter is here, I will be with you.